napfa test

had physical fitness test!! (: thank god i cleared everything. happy like prawn!!! HEEHEEHAAAHAAAHOOHOOO

2.4km - 14min 12s - B

standing broad jump - 191cm - A
shuttle run - 10.5s - A
sit ups - 38 - A
inclined pull up - 31 - A
sit and reach - 43cm - C

((: something to be happpy about. muahahaha! im so inflexible *stares at sit and reach* 43 cm was AFTER torturous stretching and pulling and pushing. KUGSAUHDBSJKNDF -.-

okay, productive time! (: see euux

actually, i'm in no clear state of mind to blog right now. i'm mentally exhausted, very very exhausted. :(

so, sunday night, i slept at 4am, woke at 6am. - completing econs, those 6 sickening essays.......
and on monday night, which was last night, i slept at 3am, woke up at 6am - an attempt to complete art essay. I HATE PERFORMANCE ART.

and today, have not slept, dying soonprobably dead, will be waking up at 6am - completing sketches for 3 A2 boards.

and amidst the chaos and disasters of pencil/charcoal dropping, and papers flying all over, i decided to give myself a reward - a 15 min break. now, apparently, i'm taking a break from my not so intensive art intensive. hmm. and im eating fruit cake (sinning, in the middle of the night), with my unwashed charcoal-ed hands. -sighs. life, life.

OH MY GOD, i suddenly remembered that i'll be having training tmr. which means, by thursday, it's game over.................................................... i'll be so dead. AND DOUBLE OH MY GOD, thursday's physical fitness test - 5 stations.

i'm quite pleased with my 2.4km run timing (although it's still sucky, oi) 14141414141414141414.. (: eh. from a more than 20min in sec 4, compared to now, now bad. i think i can run another 6 rounds with my secondary school timing.

nonetheless, amidst this quiet and not so beautiful night, i have the companion of 2 fwens, emelle and cynthia, who are, by the way, rushing for way overdued homework. that's life.

and my gp teacher won't allow us to comb hair during classes. :(

some artto i've done-o.

okay la, only got 1. heeehee. i did many others. but i lazy to take pics of them. did i mention i've proudly downgraded myself by using my previous phone - nokia 3100? so cool. got pink keypad. jacq say later ah val steal. tsk. zhen shi de.

okay, BYE, im going to have not so intensive art intensive,

*pray that i'll sleep earlier

jonas - HOT (:

the time now is 3.43am.

i just finish completing my homework.

im procrastinatin.

reactions from parents (towards the wound)

*mom calls from work

me: moshi moshi?
mom: hello? ling ah?
me: wassup moma!?
mom: nothing. what are you doing?
me: homework. what else?
mom: oh ok. how's your leg?
me: it's better, not -THAT- pain liao
mom: goood. see la, who ask you join rugby. kay kiang
me: *silence*
mom: so rough and violent. girls are supposed to be demure and quiet kind, where got like you?! now you so tanned and black.-sighs
me: *silence*
mom: your leg really ok ah?
me: yup.
mom: will rot anot?
me: NO LA OF COURSE WONT LA. it's just a wound. with minor scrapes
mom: *laughs*
me: zhen shi de.
mom: ok la.
me: then?
mom: *silence* what if really rot ah?!
me: then ok lor....
mom: *laughs* then you cannot walk or run, or even play rugby anymore *laughs again
me: ok.
mom: you're ok with it?
me: no. i said ok cos i know it won't happen.
mom: ok la! don't disturb me, BYE.
me: it's you who called me la! wh-

*she hangs up.
--
*dad talks

dad: ling, how's your leg?
me: ok la, better. but it hurt at night during sleep.
dad: want to go see doctor anot?
me: no need la. small thing
dad: next time don't go for rugby training
me: *stares* HUH!?
dad: everytime get yourself injured.
me: *silence*
dad: *stares back*
me: huh!? AIYA, this was an accident. somemore the field grass so dry, like desert.
dad: everytime also accident.
me: *silence*
dad: i leave money here, if too pain go see doctor.
me: orh.

*he leaves.

judging from the reaction, i need to find a very very auspicious date for myself to tell them that i'll be taking up contact rugby sooon. :( :(:(

tell & die
don't tell & die

might as well tell. but not now.
*shudders

Just Friends

LA LA LA LA LA LA.

Everyone knows it’s meant to be
Falling in love just you and me
‘till the end of time
‘till I’m on your mind
It’ll happen

I’ll just keep on dreaming

that gentle tap you gave me on my head, in a way, woke me up i guess. i feel better now, knowing that the friendship, or whatever ship between us is still running deep (:

eeeeeeeeeeeeee so corny. er xin.

OKAY, I FELL DOWN. :( DURING RUGBY, THE GRASS WAS SO DRY AND THE FIELD WAS HARD. IM IN PAIN. :( IT WASNT THIS BAD ON WED :(

AND WE'RE GONNA LEARN CONTACT RUGBY! whoooooooo :D

THIS IS SO RANDOM, I CANT STAND IT.

I'm very tired. :( 4 hours of sleep everyday is NOT enough. i'm telling you desperately that I want to SLEEEEP

but i can't

cos there's alot, alot, alot, of homework. :(

i've been binging on food. :( im growing fatter. binge:( food:( fat:( irritating.

art sucks.

I have bad attitude
I have bad attitude
I have bad attitude
I have bad attitude

2 of my teachers think that I have bad attitude
2 of my teachers think that I have bad attitude

These 2 teachers barely know me
These 2 fucking teachers barely know me

And they have fixed their impression of me as a bad student.
Bad
Bad
Bad
Bad

Negative
Negative

You know? The type that talks back. The type that states how they feel. The type that replies in something they would have never thought about. The type that keeps quiet when they ask a question.

When I talk, you say I’m being a nuisance, a disturbance to the class. When I don’t talk, you’d say I’m not participative in class discussions.

To put it crudely, they think I’m a chao ah lian. A rebel, a problematic kid. Immature, childish, ignorant, spoilt.

Chao ah lian
Chao ah lian
Chao ah lian

C’mon, give me a fucking fair conduct. I don’t give a shit if you teachers read our blogs.
I don’t give a shit.
I don’t give a shit
I don’t.

This is MY space. So don’t come telling me what to do. All you guys care is whether I perform well in school, BE in school, dress appropriately for school, bring the school glory, don’t sleep in classes, walk fast to other venues and BEHAVE.

It’s like a neighbour telling me that I shouldn’t buy haviannas because it’s expensive. It’s like a neighbour telling me to plant a couple of plants so that her/his life can be more colourful. It’s like a neighbour telling me to not wear shorts cos I have big fat ugly thighs. It’s like a neighbour telling me that I shouldn’t wear sports bra cos it causes cancer.

Because you know I’ll still do it no matter how. You do know it, deep down in your hearts. You do. You really do.

I’m not trying to show how powerful I am here. There’s nothing powerful about this. Nothing. This is my space. There’s only ME. Who am I powerful against? Myself? Now what? You think I go for cheap thrills like you? Reading student’s blog?

I’m so sorry to disappoint you, I really am.

And when I finally decide to trust, and let my heart do the talking, I realize it isn’t what it is. It’s like the same old thing. Being lifted high up, then the rope broke, or the person just let go, it’s back to the floor – the cold hard floor. It’s like back to square one, but with bruises and wounds, cuts and scrapes, blood and tears. Nothing much, just additional stuff. Nothing much. I mean like, hello? What’s new? HAHAHA.

I am Lynette. And JOKE is the middle name. And sometimes, I’m also known as the holiday toy. You know? The one you used to express your feelings and nonsense on, and when school reopens, you totally forget about her. Wait, does that sound familiar to YOU?

I never knew such stuff would hurt this much. No one told me how to handle such situations. No one told me that it would hurt this much. No one told me that I have to face all these crap. No one told me that I would be the one at the losing end. No one told me that I have to go through these alone.

No one.

No one said I should be born either.

why does this sound like a diary

hello to the chingahporeans who stayed in chingahpore during cheena new year! (: everyone has been badly missed, like, alot alot alotttttttt :D although i smsedthe fbt gang when i got off, only tiatia & saliva replied moi. :( and saliva was practically talking about her bf. tiatia's the best laaa. :D

took the earliest train in the entire universe - 745am. i was like thinking, if i were to go to school, i wouldn't even have to wake up so early. woke up at an unearthly hour of 530.. morning was bad, my mom tried to force some food down my throat.... AND the train ride there was so quiet, cos for about 4 hours or so, i had to sit with this unknown random malaysian guy (he came up at jb and left at gemas) who was practically telling his whoever about his SONY ERICSSSON phone, one of the models which i could swear ive never seen before, how great & almighty it is. then he started playing some cheena poke poke song and he even tried to sing along - which nearly caused my death i tell you. the main point is, I DIDNT TALK FOR LIKE 4 HOURS LA. how can! somemore i wasn't even being emotional at that point of time. TSK. kukujiao.

reached the lovely place and played awhile, you know, run around, bombing, playing catching and catching up with 2 boys, ah loong & aiman, which presumably went through puberty cos they're effing shy to talk to moi, AND WHEN THEY TALKED, THEIR VOICE SO DEEP. wah, i cannot take it. and su wey loong, 15 years, is taller than me - depressing. ahh, i still lub ah loong deep deep. then we played firecrackers, attempted to bombed the chickens, but my grandmother was like "AH LING AH LONG, BUDAK BUDAK... (ah ling ah long, later i got no more chickens i rear you both!!)" can't rmber what exactly she said. but yea. oh, i did sprints, and i nearly caused ah chen, to dive in a pile of cow dung. -.- blame the cows, anyhow shit. tsk.

first attempt to shit - FAILED. :(

WAH I WOKE UP DAMN EARLY EVERYDAY, WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM ANYBODY, 8am!!!! ZOH MY GOD. actually i woke up at 530, fed the chickens and went back to sleep. -.-did some hard labour, cos we're having some partay at night. everything went well, including the collection of angbaosxzsx. unintentionally caught the attention of some bloody mats while i was collecting rubbish. (like who the hell diverts their attention to people that are collecting rubbish? weirdos), my mom attempted to sell me off to this guy which is a distant relative, which i don't deny that he's good looking. and he even happily agreed to be my boyfriend in front of my mom! i gave the hur-hur-you-think-too-much-face and walked away to play with the kiddos. WTH la. and he works in singapore, im gonna kill him when i see him one day for this joke! OH AND WHILE RUNNING AROUND, I STEPPED ON A SATAY STICK :( bleed till the whole slipper was like flooding itself.

third day was the most depressing day of allll..... :( had a talk with one of the kiddos, which apparently told me stuff that i've never noticed in my entire life at the kampung. i almost wanted to give him a hug, apologising for everything, but i felt it was rather inappropriate, skali he think wrongly i die - relatives yo. tsk, kids nowadays. OH AND I COOKED OKAY. I BLEEDY COOKED!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

oh, the number of chickens increased. sirhan deduced that they had sex while i was away... like duh. i mean, i went off for like a year la. how can they abstain from it? high tolerance level huh. LOL.

& yes. i answered some retarded questions again. some aunties asked me when am i getting married.... and i replied tomorrow.... i need to come up with a more creative answer the next time. & theire blessings for me when they give me the angbaos were "study hard and get good grades, faster get a good guy and get married." although i would really really prefer the former... they gave both. kkj.

I AM ONLY 17 + LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

okay pictures. damien hirst is waiting for me. stupid homework. art.

i'm leaving,
on a jet plane..


kidding on the jet plane, but im leaving tomorrow for real, but not for good. (: just 5 days, away from the bustling city life which is rather quick-paced, to the peaceful village life where rearing chickens and cooking are the utmost importance of life. as much as i would like shake off all responsibility of being a city-girl, by going there, with intentions of blending totally (im really good at it), i can't, for i have to bring unholy and evil stuff to there - homeworks, yes, with 's'.

i'm quite looking forward to it, yet i have this feeling of not wanting to leave. definitely not for school *rolls eye. probably gilbert, the fbt gang, the gang, the ruggers, etc. i don't know about computer-using, but if the computer over there is working, i won't be online too i guess. wanna put technology to the minimal use.

on the school-note, i'm falling in love with Pride n Prejudice. okay, maybe it's just darcy & elizabeth. but it's so romantic- oh gosh. i'll be looking out for my fossil watch over there if i get to go to that vivo lookalike place. hur hur hur

till then people, i have to pack my bag because i feel that i would have probably outgrown the clothings over there.

you'll be greatly missed (:

lynette